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Schizophrenia beats being alone.

= The MacTavish brothers decided that one of their number would go to America and make his fortune, coming back to share with the rest of them. The youngest, Ian, was chosen for this task. off he went, and he worked hard in America, and earned himself the usual fortune over a few years, and wired his brothers that he'd be returning with it. When he came back to the homeland (or hameland, as they'd call it) he got off the boat, and looked around for his brothers, but could not see anyone who looked familiar. Finally, a group of bearded strangers approached. "Ho, Ian, are ye not knowing yer own brothers?" asked the first one. Then Ian realized his brothers had grown beards. "Fer heaven's sake, laddies, what would ye be growin'them beards for, now?" he asked. "We had to, lad, ye took the razor wi'ye!"

You used to be indecisive. Now you're not sure.

What's the easiest way to get to heaven quickly? Stand in the fast lane of a motor way.

Meandering to a different drummer.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Q: What do you call a circle of blondes? A: A dope ring.......